One Year

It has been one 365 days since I was kicked out by a man that may never find peace and contentment in his life. I worked a sixteen hour day because I was not sure what I would feel like.
After truely living the 365 days, I for a brief moment contemplated sending a Thank You card to him.. That did not last long. I have had one of the hardest years of my life. I have cryed till I was sick and vomitted, prayed till my knees where bruised, ran till my lungs hurt, sat alone so many times I thought I would die. I was not sure I would see a real happy day again. I was sure dead was better than alive. I did not want to read, work, garden or do any craft. I watched all my movies more than once. While watching one of the movies, which I will not mention the movie, there is a line, "You can either, get busy dying or get busy living." It stuck with me for a long time and I really have always liked that line. I pondered this and realized I was not living, not the kind of living I usually did. Which in contrast must mean I am dying.
Again pondering and sitting by my computer, I looked up and had placed many photos of God's gifts they he sent in my life. I broke down and cryed hard and realized there where 5 one on the way sweetest things on this earth, who did love me. What kind of legacy do I want to leave to all the critters that will come into my life? I feel to my knees on my favorite purple praying rug and thanked Heavenly Father for the wonder PARENTS of these precious souls and for the precious souls. The legacy I chose to leave is one of never give up. God may close on door, however there will be an open window if I am willing to look.
I would like to thank Josh for listening to the spirit that told him his mother needed him. His cute wife who meet me the day I totally feel totally apart and still likes me. Tyler for just loving me without needing to judge me, Ashley for her prayers. Brooke for coming to a group session that was a little uncomfortable for her but doing it because she loved me. Jason for always be kind. Heather for calling me and loving me and I am sure Travis prayed for me. Tess for just being who she is, which is a kind compassionate person. Patty and Wesley for taking time out of their crazy life and dealing with cancer, for coming to check up on me.
This is strange and I know it before I write it. I would like to thank the spirit that dwells within me for not giving up on me. My guardian angels have had to work overtime to keep me going. They are a little overworked and need chocolate.
I have good friends, good family and the best adult children (oxy moron) and the cutest critters ever to walk crawl the earth. My life is good. I am grateful for that. I love my house my yard my garden my job and I actually love me. Me is not to damn bad either.
My 100 days heart challenge is coming to an end. I have loved that. I did not lose all the weight I wanted to, however I look and feel better than I have in a very long time. I am happy and I know it so I run.